Big Girls Don't Cry

            Big Girls Don’t Cry

First, when someone says, get out. Don’t go out first. Instead, says, I’m going out.

Second, when someone says, you burden me. Then, stop him and say, ‘I’m proud that I was able to burden you.’

Third, when someone says, ‘choose’, it depends whether he is asking to choose Chicken Mc Deluxe or Big Mac, just say, “the one that I will choose will be the best for me, which is why I’m going to take…”

Fourth, read this till the end.

            Everyone has a dark secret and I do have one. If I tell you now, then, it will be no longer a secret anymore. Do you agree? But I believe, having a secret is to tell. Not your secret, but mine. Do you remember when your teacher asked you to go in front of the class because of thousands of reasons and you will go back and cry to your parents? Or perhaps, you were called up because you copy a friend work? And more reasons to certain extent. Oh, you don’t? Great, because you sure are a good girl or boy!

            My story is quite different. It was still the same scene, where you may see the teacher with his long beard, loud voice calling up your name, twice. As for that moment, I walked to the front of the class with the adrenaline rushed unexpectedly to the whole body. Too frightened of what may happen, I felt a huge lump in my throat. I was so scared!

As the legs stepped on outside the classroom, I saw my uncle and my niece were waiting at the corridor. Ignoring of the question of what’s make them here, I gave a huge smile and approached them up. But the smile faded away as soon as I heard they said, “I’m sorry. Your dad passed away this morning.”

My bitter lips couldn’t able to say a word except a long silence. My teacher and all my friends came giving a moral support and pampered me from behind. I clenched my teeth tight to stop from crying. I felt a sudden burden on my shoulder and it caused severe pain in the back, grasping each muscle and nerve cramping feeling like I lost some hopes. I hated when it comes to tears. I remembered someone told me, ‘crying is the best medicine ever. You don’t need money for them. You only need some spaces and time.’

The anger could no longer be control. I vexed out all the sadness and madness to them. They just listened and obeyed to each word I say. “Great, I lost my father on the day of my exam.....and I’m only ten!” tears flew down the cheeks and wet my uniform. I felt horrified with the coming days and started getting panicked. My heart started beating fast as the blood vessels constricted. My vision suddenly became blurry at once and I knocked off myself as I only see …DARKNESS.

Few years already passed and I was still alive as usual. My daily routine is to get up from bed and start a new life as tomorrow is the last day to live. I glanced over the alarm table and it almost nine in the morning. I rushed to the bathroom and prepared for volunteering work. I loved to give love and lend a hand to people who didn’t have one, the orphans to be more specifically.

I caught an azure eyes looking at me as I was doing some chores. She came to me with blisters on her hands. A young girl, but with strong features, I bet no one will realize that she’s only 13. I ignored her question as she said that she didn’t care of how people are looking at her. The size is doesn’t matter. No matter how big you are, you may have a small fragile heart that is so hard to handle. Even if you get small result from the exam but you may have big supporting people around you to comfort you from time to time.

Amazed of the word that coming out from her mouth, I gave her a boxes of chocolate and she smiled happily. I asked to look for the blister as it may get infected to other friends or in certain extent it can lead to severe cases. Just to make sure of it, I examined it thoroughly. She didn’t cry when I tried to take some samples from the skin even though I know it does give pain.

I asked her, “Why didn’t you cry dear?” she smiled. She just ignored my question and continued playing around with her friends. Puzzled of what she just did, I came back to settle down my things. When I was about to finish my work, she came again to me and gave a cup of hot chocolate with a yellow sticker note and a cartoon smiley pasted on the cup. I exchanged hand and grabbed for them.

‘Big girls don’t cry’ as what was written.

I swallowed hard.

The fourth is when something came to burden you, just say, ‘Dear God, I believe every problems have its own solution. Please do help me go through this and stand by me. I may be small, but I’ve grown up enough….as what is written in that yellow sticker note, I will always believe that ‘big girls don't cry.”

                        THE END.

Written by: Nawar